Withdrawing from a Benzodiazepine

       This helped me.  Withdrawing from a benzodiazepine, Klonopin

I.                    Prepare, prepare, prepare

~Plan for at least 2 months of withdrawal symptoms

~Do not make plans (you’ll only feel worse if you’re not ready)

~Enlist support from family or friends

Let them know what you plan to do and accept any offers for transportation or meals, etc.

~Shop ahead, at least two weeks

~Make someone else responsible for managing your personal affairs temporarily (pay bills,     return phone calls, make emergency decisions with you)

II.                  Checklist

~Food

Raw food & microwavable (food requiring little or no preparation)

GABA rice (comfort food for your brain) – either prepare ahead or ask someone to make it for you, especially the first two weeks

Get a variety of different milder foods (it’s not unusual for your taste to change—I found chocolate distasteful!)

Protein!  Fish, nuts, dark leafy greens

Avoid processed foods

Avoid sugar & concentrated sweets

~Fluids

In addition to lots of water, herbal teas and juices

Tension Tamer tea helps anxiety and Sleepy Time tea helps insomnia (some feel these make things worse, but they helped me)

Tart cherry juice helps insomnia (a couple ounces at bedtime)

Avoid caffeine and sugar (be kind to your brain)

Pepperment tea helps nausea

 ~Vitamins & Supplements

Omega 3 Fish oil or Krill oil (I like MegaRed) caps (for brain health) 

All B vitamins

Magnesium

Melatonin plus for sleep

I.                    Attitude

~Allow yourself to put yourself first during this process

~Make a commitment to take good care of your brain through the process

~Be aware that you are building new, healthier habits while you go through the process

~Know that you are doing something good for yourself and be proud

I.                    The Process

~Take it SLOW  (I took twice as long to decrease my doses compared to the doctor’s recommendation and wish I had gone even slower-discuss this with your doctor)

~The slower the withdrawal, the less severe the withdrawal symptoms will be

~You may expect to experience: nausea and vomiting the first day or two, tremors, dizziness, chills, fever, hot flashes, headaches, difficulty concentrating, loss of appetite, weight loss

                             

                     10 Signs That You May Be Addicted

                       To Cooking Shows  

1.  Your dinner is incomplete without pickled vegetables.

2.  Your pantry could get you on an episode of "Hoarders."

3.  You have plastic squeeze bottles and washed-out tuna

     cans on the shelf next to your dishes.

4.  Your pantry is bare when stocked with less than five kinds  

      of cooking oil.

5.  Instead of saying, "good dinner," Hubby says, "nice plating" 

     and "well-seasoned."

6.  You buy six mussels, Google the recipe, and fix them for

      yourself, just to see if you like them.         

      

7.  You are growing "recycled" baby bok choy in a flower pot 

      on your deck.

8.   If you can't find your camera, it's usually in the kitchen.

9.   You can identify at least four kinds of hot peppers.

10.  If you're lucky, you got a good chef's knife and mandoline

       for Christmas.     

       

And, My Doctor Kept On Talking

Yesterday, at a routine visit, my family doctor casually commented, "That was when we thought you had bipolar disorder." It was the first time she acknowledged the error made by 5 psychiatrists and accepted by 3 family doctors. I was on psychotropic drugs for 14 years because of a misdiagnosis.

She kept right on talking. I could think of nothing else...

And then she tried to prescribe Lyrica.

Homemade Tortillas...Ole'!

     Last night I went a little nuts in the kitchen and not only made a new Mexican cabbage slaw, I tackled flour tortillas from scratch.  And they turned out great!  I thought to myself, you're getting pretty good with these kitchen experiments, maybe you should start a blog.  But, duh, I have a blog. 

     My husband loved these.  In fact, he loved the whole simple meal.  And he's really picky.  This morning he confessed to eating two tortillas after I went to bed, one with butter and one with peanut butter.  I consider that a success!  I thought the tortillas were a little dry, so I will experiment with a little more oil next time.  But, like I said, he loved them!

     My first tortillas from scratch: 

I borrowed this recipe from food blogger extraordinaire, Tasty Kitchen. (http://tastykitchen.com/blog/)

Ingredients

• 3 cups Organic, Unbleached Flour
• 1 teaspoon Salt
• ½ teaspoons Baking Powder
• ⅓ cups Canola Oil
• 1 cup Hot Water

Preparation Instructions

Mix the flour, salt, and baking powder with a whisk. Add the canola oil and mix with your fingers until all the oil is incorporated and the mixture looks like fine crumbs. Add 1 cup of hot water and mix until a ball is formed. Cover with plastic wrap and let the dough rest for about 30 minutes. (I have also refrigerated it overnight).
Divide the dough into 12 balls and roll out one at a time on a floured surface. Brush off excess flour. Cook on a hot, ungreased griddle over medium-high heat. Turn the tortilla when brown blisters form on the first side. Stack the tortillas and serve warm.

For the meal, I fixed a couple things for inside the tortillas.  I poached a couple of chicken thighs for my husband, in the crockpot.  (I don't eat meat.)  I added a half teaspoon each, cumin, chili powder, garlic powder and onion powder to the water.  When they were tender, I just removed the bones and shredded the meat with my fingers.  For moisture, freshness, and "pop," as they say, I made some Mexican slaw.  I used a recipe to give me ideas, but I didn't have the right ingredients.  My slaw was just shredded green cabbage, frozen corn (thawed), 1/4 teas. minced Serrano pepper, diced snap peas, a handful of canned diced tomatoes, and thinly sliced green onions.  For the dressing, I had to use a lemon for juice, instead of limes, olive oil, salt and pepper. This is where I found the recipe I used for ideas:  http://www.grouprecipes.com/130744/mexican-cabbage-salad---ensalada-de-repollo.html

My Mexican Slaw:

So, I took warm tortillas, (made from scratch!) and filled them with seasoned chicken and the Mexican Slaw,  I put a little shredded cheddar cheese, too,  Next time, I would like to add a creamy avocado sauce.  Oh my, my, my.  I'm getting hungry again.  But, back to last night.  By the time I realized this meal was a big success, it was too late to capture it in a photo.  This will have to do. ;)

DOCTOR WANTED

If only it was as easy as tearing up the paper printed with words, and letting it fly up to the sky, a wish to be granted.

 

The Perfect Doctor:

[Sung to the tune of “The Perfect Nanny” ~Mary Poppins]

[Spoken]
Wanted a Doctor for an adorable woman.
If you want this choice position
Have a cheery disposition
Rosy cheeks, no warts!
No games, no sorts!

You must be kind, you must be smart,
Very wise and listen with your heart.
Take your time, lend an ear,
Know meds, have reasonable fear.
Never be cross or cruel
Never treat me like a fool.

Across the years, we’ll work as a team
Together, a healthy goal, a healthy dream.
If you won't scold and dominate me
I hope to never give you cause to hate me

I won't hide your spectacles
So you can't see
Put toads in your bed
Or pepper in your tea
Hurry, Doctor!
Many thanks
Sincerely,
Well, you know…

 

Not Just Pissed Because It Happened To Me, or, my adventures with C. diff

I'm presently taking a medication called, Vancomycin, for my second bout of C. diff. colitis in 4 months.  I've always thought of myself as "healthier than average," however, now I find myself trying to shake a potentially chronic and debilitating illness.  It only took a second time to get me online doing some serious research. 

According to the CDC, C. diff sickens about half a million people a year in the U.S. 
(Source: http://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/news/20110601/fda-approves-new-drug-to-treat-c-diff)

"In recent years, many in the infectious disease community have seen an increase in the number of cases of people with C. difficile infection," Edward Cox, MD, MPH, of the FDA, says in a news release.  (Source: http://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/news/20110601/fda-approves-new-drug-to-treat-c-diff)

 

In June, 2011, the FDA approved a drug called Dificid for the treatment of C. diff.

 

 "Dificid is an effective new treatment option for patients who develop Clostridium difficile-associated diarrhea." (Source: http://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/news/20110601/fda-approves-new-drug-to-treat-c-diff)

"The FDA says. The drug is the first antibiotic in nearly 30 years to be approved to fight the sometimes deadly C. diff-caused disease."

 

SO, WHY ISN'T THIS MEDICATION COVERED BY U.S. HEALTH INSURANCE?  (Because the insurance companies are still in charge.)

Medical treatment and hospital stays associated with C. diff cost the U.S. health care system as much as $3.8 billion a year. Also, the company says a recent survey of the incidence and severity of C. diff in U.S. hospitals found that C. diff patients had lengths of hospital stay nearly three times longer than average, with mortality rates more than four times higher than for the average person who is hospitalized. In the trials, more patients treated with Dificid were considered cured after three weeks of treatment, compared with people taking Vancomycin, the FDA says.

THE 10 DAY PRESCRIPTION COSTS $3169.98 ...IN CANADA!

Yes. I'm pissed.  Why didn't I get to take the best drug out there for what I have?  Maybe not the first time, but what about the second?  But it's not just about me.  This infection is a current U.S. healthcare problem with the drug and insurance companies holding the best treatment hostage.  How will we ever eradicate this horrible (trust me!) infection when we don't have access to the best antibiotic?  I'm pissed, but not just for me.

Informed Consent

It's about INFORMED CONSENT. Psychotropic drugs--anti-depressants, tranquilizers, and others, are being prescribed en mass, to mentally weak and susceptible patients. In 1989, my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I asked my doctor for Valium. He prescribed it and after she died, I kept taking it. In 1999, I had, what I now know, was my first full-blown panic attack. I was hospitalized in a psych. hospital for 6 days. In that brief time, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I was put on Klonopin and other psych. meds. Over the last 14 years, I sure did act bipolar. I experienced severe depression coupled with violent rages. Five doctors later, I'm told to stop Klonopin, "it's bad for you," by a new pdoc. I am now 13 months off ALL MEDS. I have suffered severe withdrawal symptoms, as well as protracted withdrawal symptoms. However, since stopping Klonopin, NO MOOD SWINGS, NO DEPRESSION, NO RAGES. I've been an RN for over 30 years. I believed the doctors. In spite of all the side-effects I religiously took my medicine. Eventually, I was robbed of my career and my lifestyle. Today, emotionally, I feel the best I've felt in 14 years. Physically, I’m still suffering. I feel like shouting from the rooftops, "Walk away from this poison!" I know some are genuinely helped by medication, but how many are HARMED? Pros and cons of psychotropic medications aside, I believe there needs to be more education—for doctors and patients and more warnings. Patients are in a very vulnerable place when they’re prescribed these medications. Patients' rights include “informed consent.” If I wasn’t fully aware of the dangers as an RN, what chance does a lay person have?

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Bitching and Moaning and Raking in the Profits

Many U.S. businesses have responded to The Affordable Healthcare Act by raising their prices, lowering their quality and hiring only for part time positions.   This un-American approach to progress has my attention.  I wanted to know who is supporting healthcare for all Americans and who are the “Obama haters.”   I choose to avoid selfish companies.

This is a list compiled from an article in the Huffington Post, August 21, 2013.  I added the greedy details:

McDonald’s   Peter Bensen, McDonald’s chief financial officer, said on in a conference call last year, that Obamacare will cost the company and its franchisees $140 million to $420 million per year.  According to wikinvest.com, McDonald’s gross profit for 12 months, ending Sept. 30, 2013, was $10.89 billion dollars.

Whole Foods   In January, John Mackey, CEO of Whole Foods, told NPR that Obamacare is “like fascism.”   In May, 2013, Moneybox reported that Whole Foods had “stellar earnings” announcing a 13.6 % overall sales growth.

Boeing  Boeing lobbied unsuccessfully against a new Obamacare fee, according to the Wall Street Journal.  In an article posted by Heraldnet in November of last year, Dan Catchpole reports that Boeing is making record profits and doing millions in stock buy backs.”

CKE (Owner of Hardee’s and Carl’s Jr.)   CEO of CKE, Andrew Puzder, said in an interview by Bloomberg Businessweek last year, that “he plans to respond to Obamacare by selling cheaper meals and hiring more part-time workers.”  He has also said he plans to build fewer restaurants in response.  Investor.ckr.com reported the following in March of 2013:  “The Company [CKE] expects to report total revenue of $1,326 million for fiscal year 2013, an increase of $46 million, or 3.6 % compared to fiscal 2012.  Company-operated same-store sales increased by 3.0% in fiscal 2013.”

Jimmy Johns   Fox News reported Jimmy John’s CEO, Jimmy John Liaulaud, said he “plans to cut his workers’ hours in order to avoid having to offer them health insurance under Obamacare.”  The CEO said, “There’s no other way we can survive it.”  Bluemaumau.org posted the top sandwich chains ranked by profits in January 2013.  Jimmy John’s came in second to Subway on their list.  Subway’s 3 year return on investment is followed by Jimmy John’s 3.1 years to pay off the initial investment with annual profits.  On their own web page, Jimmy Johns boasts $1,431,665 average annual gross sales and $299,015 average net profit from operations for its franchises.

These are just five examples.  First their bitching, then their actual profits.   How many  more companies are complaining, taking it out on their employees and raking in the profits?  

Follow Me On Pinterest or Twitter (or follow my cat)

You may want to follow me on Pinterest.  I LOVE PINTEREST.  It not only relaxes me, it motivates me, too.  I get inspired to cook by the beautiful pictures of  food and I get inspired to make crafts, too. I'e learned a lot by following pins to educational articles.  I try to check my pins for spam.  Don't you hate them? So, here's my Pinterest page:  http://www.pinterest.com/viccimn/   I hope you like it.

I also have a Twitter account.  I like Twitter a lot, too.  I think it's especially fun when you get to interact with celebrities.  I tweet lots of liberal, political stuff, so consider yourself fore-warned.  Here's the link to my Twitter page:  https://twitter.com/Viccimn 

Now, this is a little embarrassing.  Just between you and me, one of my cats has a Twitter page.  I know, I know.  I was just getting into Twitter, when we got our kitten, Angel.  She was so cute and I was taking tons of pictures of her.  It just kind of happened.  I made her an account.  And the funniest thing happened.  She got bunches of followers!  Do you know how many cats, dogs, birds and other pets have Twitter accounts? Just open one for one of your furry friends and you'll see!  There are some pretty intricate relationships; even a paramilitary group for kitties.  Seriously.  It's a hidden culture.  Check it out.  Your cat is feeling left out.   This is Angel's Twitter page:  https://twitter.com/UglyKitty1

Yummy French Toast

You'll probably love this French Toast.

Funny. Just starting a blog seemed to empty my mind.  Oh, the pressure.  Anyway...

Many bloggers, at least the ones I follow, share favorite recipes.  I'm just a beginner cook, so I'd like to share wonderful recipes I've tried.  Yeah, seriously, at my age, I'm just learning.  It never occurred to me that I didn't know how to cook.  No one taught me, I just did it.  My first husband ate everything, so I didn't know the difference.  I thought my second husband was just picky.  Well, he is, but I still didn't know how to cook.  I was too busy working full time to even think about it.  All I cared about were putting the "three basic food groups" on the table  for my family.  At least I offered the right food, right?  Not exactly.  The vegetables were out of cans.  The meats were prepackaged and frozen.  Pasta dinners came out of boxes. Apologies to my kids.  I was honestly doing my best at the time.

About a year ago, I cleaned out our cupboards of processed foods.  I'd decided that healthy food was good medicine, and by God, my husband and I were going to get healthy.  You can't get rid of processed foods without learning how to cook.  And, who would have thought, with the time and resources, I love to cook! Like I said, I'm just a beginner.  This morning, I made French Toast.  It's the second time I've used this wonderful French Toast recipe from Alton Brown.  I don't know what that was I used to make, but this is the only way I'll make French Toast from now on.  It's crispy on the outside with a creamy custard on the inside.  As you can see, I like sour cream instead of syrup.  I follow the recipe exactly.  And, I stopped mid-scarffing to take a photo for you, too.  Enjoy...

French Toast on the Food Network,

I'm at that age where losing weight isn't necessary a good thing.  Yeah, I'm getting the middle age flat ass.

Journal Entries

A Selection of Journal Entries...


                       Dated July 22, 1997:

Who knows when the kitchen floor had been mopped last?  The ever-shine linoleum was dulled by dirt and sticky with kid-droppings.  My husband said he'd rather walk barefoot across an alley than approach the kitchen without slippers.

                         Dated December 12, 1999:

Don't say you're sorry
To bring the silence to an end.
Don't say you're sorry
To make my heart bend.
Don't say you're sorry,
Just to do it again.

                        Dated October 11, 2011

Bless little Delilah's heart.  She had surgery on her skull today.  Brie, Seth and I stayed at the hospital, but then I went home after Delilah was stable in the recovery room.  Today was such a difficult day.  Delilah is the happiest baby.  Thinking of her in pain is unbearable.  And then poor Brie and Seth.  They love her so.  It was hard to see their pain as they met Delilah in the recovery room.  Her head was completely bandaged and her little eyes were black and blue and swollen shut.  She looked like a little cherub, but not like Delilah. The doctors an nurses are very nice and considerate.  What a difference it makes.  It was supposed to be in the 80's today.  Yet, all it's done is rain.  Thank you, God, for watching over Delilah, Brie and Seth.  I've learned a grandmother's heart breaks twice, once for her child and again for her grandchild.

                       Dated July 9, 2006

Today, my darling granddaughter [Scarlett], I felt you move.  You got the hiccoughs and I felt those, too.
Mommy teases me when I cry.  But, I know she would be surprised if I didn't.  My tears are just my love for you spilling over.

What I've Survived Helps Define Me

I was hospitalized for 6 days, with acute, paralyzing depression in Jan. 1999. On discharge, I was diagnosed as having bipolar disorder and later I was diagnosed bipolar I. I was prescribed Klonopin at the time of hospitalization and I took it for 14 years.  I attended a weekly support group whose mantra was “Always Take Your Medication--even when you feel better…”  So I did.  But, I kept getting worse.

Two months ago, a new psychiatrist told me how bad Klonopin was for me and took me off of it. I am still going through withdrawals. No longer trusting psychiatry, I went online to try and heal myself with diet and supplements. I took myself off the Wellbutrin and Lithium, too. While recovering, I've been reading about the side-effects of Klonopin. I honestly believe I was misdiagnosed.  I believe my depressions and rages, over the last 14 years, were caused by the Klonopin. I had five different psychiatrists over 14 years. They did not ask why I was prescribed Klonopin or how long I had been on it. They just renewed it.  My mood has been totally stable since I stopped my medication, though I've been physically as sick as a dog.

I am a wife, mother and grandmother. I have been an R.N. for 30 years. I lost my career (and 6-figure salary) and most of my friends. I now have panic attacks, one after another, as a result of brain damage, which I’m hoping is not permanent. It is an ordeal for me to leave just my house.

Is it possible I was misdiagnosed and mistreated for 14 years?! I think so. I believe Klonopin tarnished 14 years of my life. I don't want anyone else to suffer as I have.  I’d like to keep telling my story in a responsible manner.

Please be patient. I'm making memories...